Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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