I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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