I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
