You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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