I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
