I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
