Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
