can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
