so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize