but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize