If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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