Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
