I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
