After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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