she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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