okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
