I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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