Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
