you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
