Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
