i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
