none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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