You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Pooping to opera.
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