My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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