Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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