For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize