can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
