i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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