i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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