He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize