It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
