Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
