Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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