I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize