Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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