i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
