Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize