nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
