Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize