Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
