And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
