Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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