I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
