Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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