She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
