I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
