How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
