And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
