one might say we're banned from that church
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize