either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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