As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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