I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
