I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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