I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
