i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
