ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
