Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
should my penis look like a turkey
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
