The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
