that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
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We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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