3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im six kinds of drunk right now
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
