Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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