I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
