Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
