with your own penis?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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