check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
