I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she pinky promised me she was 18
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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