doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Randomize
