There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
