so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
