I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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