I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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