So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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