I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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