oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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