Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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