i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize