I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
